This is funny, so I shall keep it here for posterity. Courtesy of Shygal from FWNR forum.

10 Commandments of a Married Life:

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But then again so are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3
Marriage is grand and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating, In the 1st year, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the 2nd year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the 3rd year, they both speak and the neighbours listen!
Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new of the wife is.
Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook. But the law only allows one wife.
Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why a wife treats her husband like toxic water.
Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished!