I lifted this excellent and very funny post from Velociphile's blog. Only WIS (Watch Idiot Savants) would probably appreciate the joke:
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Watch Lovers Nine Signs
Jaegermars – A fickle fusspot magpie determined to stand apart. You know and understand much about watches. A man of the world with a sophisticated taste. Competitive and great in bed.
Patestantin - You’re an old man, or a watch dealer. You’re beyond fashion knowing exactly what you want. You take a long time to decide and then stick with it. Safe, reliable, rich and once upon a time a good lover.
Swatchio – Unsure about everything in life, you're desperate for a woman.
Roltier – Insecure and conservative, you seek validation through material posessions by making an impression on people you don’t know. Clingy, you’re rubbish in bed.
Breitmega – Nervous, obsessive, wannabe divernaut with too many watches who can’t commit in a relationship. You’re poor, but one day you’ll be able to afford a proper piece.
Seikizen – You’re poor, but you’ll never be able to afford a proper watch. An accuracy freak you’re annoying. Can’t hold conversations with girls, who remain a mystery.
Vintique – Living your life in rose tinted hindsight with a house full of watches. A lot like Patestantin, but still good in the sack for the moment.
Panimo – Gullible, you like clocks and have a small one.
Sinfortima – Nobody pulls the wool over your eyes. A bit dull, you manage to live life pretty hard. Decisive, you have a big one.
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My analysis: Obviously, the names of the 'zodiac signs' are a combination of watch brands. The descriptions that follow are based on the author's perception of the brand, which is quite credible, I should say.
Jaegermars = Jaeger LeCoultre and Audemars Piguet; no doubt the author has a liking for these 2 brands due to their innovation and technical wizardry.
Patestantin = Patek Philippe and Vacheron Constantin; two of the oldest brands in watch-making, and priciest too.
Swatchio = Swatch and Casio! They are budget timepieces, hence portrayed as unsure and desperate, haha.
Roltier = what else but Rolex and Cartier, enough said.
Breitmega = Breitling and Omega; they produce many models of sports watches. I still like Omega.
Seikizen = Seiko and Citizen; two of the most affordable brands.
Vintique = Vintage and antique watches; obviously a reminder of the good 'ol days.
Panimo = Panerai and Anonimo; famous for their large watches. Gullible cos people pay inflated prices for them.
Sinfortima = Sinn, Fortis, and Tutima; they are so German, with their functional but boring designs.
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Watch Lovers Nine Signs
Jaegermars – A fickle fusspot magpie determined to stand apart. You know and understand much about watches. A man of the world with a sophisticated taste. Competitive and great in bed.
Patestantin - You’re an old man, or a watch dealer. You’re beyond fashion knowing exactly what you want. You take a long time to decide and then stick with it. Safe, reliable, rich and once upon a time a good lover.
Swatchio – Unsure about everything in life, you're desperate for a woman.
Roltier – Insecure and conservative, you seek validation through material posessions by making an impression on people you don’t know. Clingy, you’re rubbish in bed.
Breitmega – Nervous, obsessive, wannabe divernaut with too many watches who can’t commit in a relationship. You’re poor, but one day you’ll be able to afford a proper piece.
Seikizen – You’re poor, but you’ll never be able to afford a proper watch. An accuracy freak you’re annoying. Can’t hold conversations with girls, who remain a mystery.
Vintique – Living your life in rose tinted hindsight with a house full of watches. A lot like Patestantin, but still good in the sack for the moment.
Panimo – Gullible, you like clocks and have a small one.
Sinfortima – Nobody pulls the wool over your eyes. A bit dull, you manage to live life pretty hard. Decisive, you have a big one.
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My analysis: Obviously, the names of the 'zodiac signs' are a combination of watch brands. The descriptions that follow are based on the author's perception of the brand, which is quite credible, I should say.
Jaegermars = Jaeger LeCoultre and Audemars Piguet; no doubt the author has a liking for these 2 brands due to their innovation and technical wizardry.
Patestantin = Patek Philippe and Vacheron Constantin; two of the oldest brands in watch-making, and priciest too.
Swatchio = Swatch and Casio! They are budget timepieces, hence portrayed as unsure and desperate, haha.
Roltier = what else but Rolex and Cartier, enough said.
Breitmega = Breitling and Omega; they produce many models of sports watches. I still like Omega.
Seikizen = Seiko and Citizen; two of the most affordable brands.
Vintique = Vintage and antique watches; obviously a reminder of the good 'ol days.
Panimo = Panerai and Anonimo; famous for their large watches. Gullible cos people pay inflated prices for them.
Sinfortima = Sinn, Fortis, and Tutima; they are so German, with their functional but boring designs.
